I need to stop...

• Getting drunk
• Getting drunk and dancing
• Getting drunk and dancing with people I know
• Getting drunk and dancing with people I don't know
• Getting drunk and dancing with road cones
• Getting drunk and dancing while grinning
• Getting drunk and dancing while frowning
• Getting drunk and dancing while gurning
• Getting drunk and dancing with my face uncovered at all
• Getting drunk and thinking I'm sexy
• Getting drunk and thinking I'm sexy while dancing
• ... or while falling over peoples' feet
• Getting drunk and entering into conversations on topics such as the point of advertising in a heavily saturated student-orientated market.
• ... or entering into any conversations at all for that matter. With anyone.
  
• Getting drunk and ... Sod it, no more drinkies for me.
• ... or not. Whatever... ;o)

Next week: things I need to stop wearing while drunk.

... if you're going to have an in-depth conversation about the football, world cup, Sven's decision to play one striker up-front, the weather in Germany, what time it is in Germany, how the beer tastes in Germany and how your mate's wife is enjoying the shopping - and please bear in mind this isn't because I'm horrible, grumpy or generally a b'stard - could you possibly refrain from holding the conversation - at a volume which shows no regard for anyone trying to sleep - 2 feet away from my bloody bedroom window?! Some of us have jobs to go to in the morning fer heaven's sake!

Footnote: dear neighbour-who-can't-drive: please refrain from justifying your lack of parking radar by listening for the "thump" of your bumper striking mine as a gauge to tell whether you're properly in your parking space. I must confess, I don't particularly like the sound of my car's bodywork being damaged, and I refer you to my comment to Mr. Chatty, above, about my reasons for liking some peace and quiet between the hours of, say, midnight and 6 a.m...

(Yup, I'm grumpy when woken in the middle of the night...)

• ... The toaster can be considered an acceptable substitute for the ashtray.
• ... Texting incomprehensible b******s to the big screen in Lux is a Good Idea (TM).
• ... Your eyes are looking in four different directions at once.
• ... The neighbour's cat seems like a good person to strike up a conversation with.
• ... Westlife seem cool.
• ... curry/kebob/whatever highly unhealthy food seems like a good idea despite not physically having any more room inside yourself after the Nth pint of beer.
• ... A windchill of -3 degrees doesn't strike fear into your heart, despite only wearing the thinnest of t-shirts.
• ... "Have another pint!" is an acceptable answer to the statement "I don't feel so well".
• ... You whisper louder than most people shout.
• ... Everybody's food in the kitchen is fair game; nothing is safe when you're hungry and drunk.

Any others I've forgotten?