After
yesterday's débacle with Alliance & Leicester's website-with-a-mind-of-its-own, I found myself on the phone tonight not once, or twice, but three times speaking to, among others, the
very same irritable Leeds woman. My brain's a bit fried, but the conversations went something like...
- (Assistant #1, answering after I had again punched every conceivable combination of numbers into the phone keypad just to find out where I was born, and who Christened me...) "Hello, Alliance & Leicester. Billy-Bob* speaking. How can I help you?"
- (Me) "Hi there, I had a problem with your website a couple of days ago which meant I was given a penalty charge because of a problem with your website. The charge was lifted, but I've now found that you've also put a charge on my other account because the bill payment I was transferring the money for bounced, because the transfer bounced" (at this point my head starts to ache).
- (#1) "Uh huh?" quoth the - probably degree-educated - telephone operator.
- (M) "... so I was wondering if you could possibly remove the second charge as it was a result of the first charge, which has been refunded?"
- (#1) "Uhhm..." (I thought this was a stalling tactic on his part. Apparently not...) "I'm afraid our banking system is currently down. You will need to call back later."
- (M) "!!"
... Later. Much later ...
- (Assistant #2, after I had spent yet more of my life pressing numbers into the phone... you get the idea...) "Hello, Alliance & Leicester, Pam speaking. How can I help you?"
- (Me, realising with some suspicion that this was almost certainly Grumpy Woman from yesterday's calls) "Hi there... <explained problem again> ... so could you waive this charge please?"
- (Pam) "Absoluuutely not! We should only have refunded half your first penalty charge, and ... " (basically a "no" thus far, and a very definite indication that I was an idiot for even asking).
- (M) "But as I explained yesterday, ... <I patiently explain how the website was at fault> ... so if you could please waive this charge I'd be very grateful."
- (P) "But why did you try and transfer money from an account withou sufficient funds in it?"
- (M) "Whuh--?!" - losing a little decorum now - "I tried to transfer money from an account with money in it to another account, which didn't have plenty of money in it, to make sure my bill cleared yesterday." (Thinking: "NGNNNNGNNNNNN...")
- ... eventually ...
- (P) "As a gesture of good will, I have refunded the £34 charge into your account --" (It crosses my mind to suggest this is as tacit an admission of guilt as I'll ever hear)
- (M) (Thinking) "HOORAYYY!" (... saying:) "Thank y--"
- (P) (Interrupting my thanks) "-- but you will be charged £25 for exceeding your account balance."
- (M) "!!!" (Thinking:) "NGGNNNNNNGGGGNGGG" (Saying:) "Oh..... Uhhm, could I speak to your suprvisor please?"
- (P) (In a tone which conveyed smugness so tangible it stuck my ear to the phone handset) "I'm afraid I am the most senior person here at this time."
- (M) "Guh--!"
Still, at least their computers were working again I guess...
Shortly afterwards, I decided to try and get the third charge removed again...
- (Assistant #3, in a text-book Leeds accent you could demolish terraced housing with) "Hello, Alliance & Leicester. Leslie speaking. How can I help you?"
- (Me, bored of my own voice by now) <Explaining about the charges, could she please remove them?>
- (L, in a convincing sympathetic voice) "If you'd just like to wait while I transfer you to my supervisor, Pam..."
AAARGH!
So, to recap:
- I tried to transfer some money from one account to the other
- A&L's website hates Firefox, decided to interpret the transfer order in its own way, and bounces the payment
- A&L charge me £34 for bouncing the transfer
- ... then another £34 for bouncing a £15 payment because the transfer bounced
- ... and then another £25 for going overdrawn because their second £34 payment took my account over its limit, because they bounced a £15 payment because the first transfer bounced...
- That's a £93 charge for their web monkey's CSS cock-up!
- My head hurts...
/al
* name changed due to memory failure.
Alex H -
Thu, 17 Aug 2006
