Max, the Andrex puppy doppelganger, is writing a blog. All say "aww"...

(Swimmingly off-topic... Sorry...)

I've decided to start swimming again.

I can hear the shouts of "big deal" from the back of the class, but I care not. This is my blog (technically it's a work blog, but I don't do much work, and certainly nothing a real person would consider interesting), so I may as well relate some of my boring non-work experiences too. That's my justification, and I'm sticking by it ;o).

I haven't swum in probably about 8 years. I used to swim regularly and at one point, some misguided soul in the ATC thought I should represent my wing at swimming. That, thankfully, only lasted a night - I much prefer messing about underwater to the science of thrashing up and down a pool.

As with any reasonably new experience, it's always good to start out with a recce, so I dropped into the baths yesterday morning to check on the prices and times. Truth be told, I'd taken my swimming kit in case I decided to take the plunge - pun intended - but chickened out at the prospect of scaring any small children ("Look mummy, it's Big Foot!") and in any case, I'll deny I was ever there for anything other than a recce. So there...

This morning I dragged myself down to the pool and, armed with baggy shorts, a towel barely larger than a flannel, and more than a little apprehension, I turned up and paid my £1.70 £2.00 £2.50 ("But you said it was £1.70 yesterday...?" "That's after 9am" "And you just asked me for two pounds, so why did you only give me £7.50 change from my tenner?" "I didn't say two pounds - I said two pounds fifty" "Uhhm, ok").

The first thing I noticed, apart from the impending sense of doom that I'd probably take in at least two lungs-worth of water before anyone decided to fish me out if it wall went fubar, was just how badly smoking has affected my lung capacity - I used to be able to quite easily swim 50 metres underwater from a dive. Today I managed little more than 15.

After 14 lengths of the 25-ish metre pool, and having played "chicken" with a couple of old boys who I assumed were on the wrong side of the lane - and later found out it was me who was swimming "European", I decided to call it a day before my arms lost the strength to pull me out of the pool. I remember being fit enough to swim up and down the pool all day long, and managing only 14 lengths before the survival instincts kick in is gash.

The good side of this all is that I'll be getting fitter into the deal, which is definitely no bad thing, and I'd always recommend swimming over other forms of exercise - apart from anything else, no-one can see you sweating when you swim ;o)

I'm going back tomorrow. At £2.50 a go, and with 14 lengths taking me about 15 minutes, I reckon the £10 an hour is close to the price of a premium gym membership and might even start looking at gyms with pools in the area if it helps to motivate me. For now though, I'll be happy to make it back to 20 lengths without suffering a coronary, and might even give up smoking if it helps.

Maybe...

(More non-news) In a random few moments of boredom yesterday, I've been trawling through a few blogs looking for more reading material. While the majority were dismissed without having to scroll down the page, a few stood out and I hacked through their archives yesterday evening...

• littleredboat.co.uk is a blog I've probably mentioned previously. It's written by occasional Grauniad contributor Anna Pickering, and is a brilliantly funny, off-beat look at ... Well, anything and everything. Check it out - go on, you know you want to...
• girlonatrain.blogspot.com is one I admit I haven't really read a lot of yet, but it looks like it might just be a worthwhile browse (just maybe).
• universalsoldieruk.blogspot.com is another blog I've been drawn into. It's no secret I like Andy McNab's writing style, like Bravo Two Zero, if only for the grim - but very very good - Army humour he writes with. Universal Soldier is a blog written in a similar style - again, it's more about the comedy than any gore - but you might still want to use a spot of judgement before clicking around it, just in case...

p.s. a big "hooray" to Fraggy who has finally updated his blog after months of neglect. Fraggy mate, if you've ever considered buying plants or a pet, please don't - they'd be dead for weeks before you missed them ;o)

(Geeky moment) Comms manager Mike Cooter's shiny new 19" widescreen monitor arrived yesterday. On enquiring whether it was any better than his old 17", he darkly muttered something about "fuzzy pixels" and poor picture quality.

... Turns out he'd spent several hours thinking his new screen was fit only for the bin because he'd been running it at the wrong resolution.

(PEBKAC: "Problem exists between keyboard and chair" - Wikipedia)