Working through the next issue of the paper's articles, I spotted this in a press release from Hampshire bobbies about their anonymous, non-emergency reporting telephone line, with the heading "Callers should use the Single Non-Emergency Number, 101, to report the following...":
What's so bad about street lights then?
(Yes, I'm procrastinating, but then so would you be facing a ridiculous pile of articles which have to be turned into a newspaper by Monday morning, while Paul Oakenfold's about to play a set less than 100 feet away!)