Alex Harries's diary

I'm playing helldesk geek while we're issuing NUS cards for the next fortnight. Yesterday was the first day, and I spent most of it running around - headless poultry-style - arranging furniture and crowd barriers, checking the water cooler, and printing off a range of posters to make sure no-one turns up to the NUS issue desk without everything they need.

Ten minutes before we opened, somebody noticed that our photo booth - which used to live opposite the Copy Shop - hadn't returned from its summer holidays, so the nearest place to get passport pics is Southsea station. A bit of a walk...

Naturally, almost everybody who came up yesterday seemed to have ignored the advice posters and asked us a range of questions which the posters answered, including "Can I use last year's card?" (Nope, the poster says it must be your 2006 card). "How do I register?" (The poster says UPSU.net - you should trust it). "What's my e-mail address?" (Wh-... ?!), and of course the classic "Why do I need to bring a toothbrush?"

Ok, I feel I should explain something here. When you're rushing out a poster explaining what people need to do and bring to get an NUS card at silly-o-clock on a Monday morning, having had far too little sleep, you can be forgiven for feeling a little mischievous. Which is why point 7 at the bottom of poster asks, "[Have you] remembered your toothbrush?".

To the 19 International students who enquired with wide-eyed confusion in the Sabb office, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for the confusion caused by my own brand of "humour" (which could also be referred to as moron-ness). And to the staff of Balfour's, the sudden rush on toothbrushes shouldn't be taken as indication that Portsmouth is going to become a thriving toothbrush sales region...