As some people may already be aware, I was arrested on Friday afternoon, out of the blue on a trumped up (for which read "fake") and uncorroborated allegation of common assault.
I'll set the scene for you briefly:
A police officer called by at 8AM to inform my girlfriend that she would be arrested and taken into custody at 1PM the same day, and I went along to give her moral support (the same made-up charge applied to her). She was taken in, and I sat bored and impatient outside the police station wondering what was going on, til 4PM, when a policeman came out, asked me who I was then proceeded to arrest me on suspicion of a common assault that apparently happened a month previous. Here's where the lesson begins.
Lesson 1: Co-operate fully with the police
When they arrest you, do exactly as they say, be polite and answer any pertinent questions. When you're booked in, you're offered the right to read the police codes of practice and the right to legal representation, take this up! Do not answer anything related to the case, but give all identifying information to the custody sergeant and be as helpful as you can. I was doubled over in agony after an operation, but I tried to be as helpful as possible.
Lesson 2: Be friendly to the police and custody officers
I cannot overstate how handy this can be. In my case, I made conversation with my arresting officer and kept the mood light. This can form a rapport between the two of you and make the process a little less uncomfortable for you. When you're shown to your suite, you may be offered a hot drink and some food. It's worth accepting this offer, as nasty as the food may be. You might need the energy for the next step. Also, be nice to your custody officer and they're likely to be nicer to you. Nice= newspapers, hot drinks etc.
Lesson 3: Know your rights
You are entitled to read a copy of the Police Codes of Practice, taken from the Police And Criminal Evidence Act, 1984. When you're comfy in your presidential palace, ask the custody officer for a copy of the aforementioned publication. Read up on your rights in custody (Code C) but also, if you ARE innocent, pay close attention to Code G, which outlines the police statutory powers of arrest under section 24 of PACE. Briefly, police are only meant to use their power of arrest if no other suitable alternative can be found, such as issuing a summons to attend a police station, or street bail. One of your rights under Code C is the right to read the codes of practice in your cell. Of course, if you're a novice to this whole business, which I hope you are, you might also want to exercise your right to legal representation and guidance. You should bear in mind that this can delay your interview on a busy day/night by some time, but it can mean the difference between a stitch up and freedom.
Lesson 4: RELAX!
Now that you're settling into your new home, practise some zen and just chill out. Being locked up is a pain in the arse, but it's not the end of the world. Wait for your lawyer, read the Codes of Practice and figure out if you've been done up in some way. If they got you fair and square then just level with them, it's a damn sight easier than lying. If you're sure you're innocent, piece everything together before the interview and make sure it's clear in your head. And make sure you're calm. Going crazy will only make it harder when they come to deal with you.
Lesson 5: TELL THE TRUTH!
I cannot emphasise enough how important this is. Don't get all "stroppy teenage angst" at the interviewer when you're under caution. It comes through on the tape and it makes you seem less credible. You should be cool, calm and collected. And you should tell it like it happened. Try to use open body language and tell the story as completely...
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