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 Precursor 1 year ago
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 Mad, shy, hopeless, nicePosts: 15 Member rating: 1
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This is something which really bugs me: I admit I'm not the best-looking guy in the world and I'm a MASSIVE geek, but the one advantage I have is being a "nice guy". Now, I was under the impression this was a good thing, but apparenetly not going by the one girlfriend I've had in nearly 22 years. Can someone explain why "nice" doesn't seem to work? |
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thegumqueen 1 year ago
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 enigmatic do-gooderPosts: 56 Member rating: 3
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There's a very fine line between nice and, well, not so nice, I think. I understand where you're coming from. Girls seem to like to go out with the bad guys, but I don't have much of an idea why this is. Maybe it's got to do with a subconscious theory that a 'bad' guy will be able to stand up for her when she needs him to (but of course ultimately gets pushed around by him the rest of the time)? I'm not sure.
Personally, I like nice guys. But not so nice to the point that they're falling over you trying to do everything for you. I don't want a guy to be too needy - they have to have a bit of an animal in them!
Take a look the way you act around girls.. try and treat them in the same way you would a guy and the rest may just fall into place. And remember that if they don't like you for who you are, then why would you want to have that sort of a relationship with them anyway?
But my real advice is not to bother with girlfriends/boyfriends while you're at Uni. Use this time to make loads of new friends and get your degree finished.
But I would say that: I'm single  I think there's a lot of truth in it though. I'm having a great time at Uni BECAUSE I split up with a guy, who may I add, was a nice guy! (and no, that was not the reason we split up!) It's meant that I've had the time to explore all the opportunities on offer here, like getting involved in volunteering and societies (where of course, you meet lots of like minded people!!!) (note shameless plug for the union!) |
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blue_rose96 1 year ago
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 Strange,capricious,indecisive,arty fartyPosts: 1 Member rating: 0
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Don't worry, as girls get older they go for the guys they want to settle down with. Nice guys are the ones that win in the end! |
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Precursor 1 year ago
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Mad, shy, hopeless, nicePosts: 15 Member rating: 1
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lol, I've heard the "Nice guys win in the end" argument all the time....I'm yet to see any proof in my case though haha |
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thegumqueen 1 year ago
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enigmatic do-gooderPosts: 56 Member rating: 3
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But it's TRUE!!
And there's definitely also truth in the saying that someone always comes along when you least expect it. So stop looking, and start living!!
I believe that the more you think about being single, the more you think that you're never going to find someone, and that just gets you down and you end up giving off negative vibes!
Have a Positive Mental Attitude and find things about yourself that you really like; it's a bit corny, but Love Yourself! If you can do that, then others might just too! |
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Precursor 1 year ago
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Mad, shy, hopeless, nicePosts: 15 Member rating: 1
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lol, good argument  I'd like to think my nice side will win....eventually haha |
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miniminogue 1 year ago
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 the mad cat lady from The SimpsonsPosts: 140 Member rating: 7
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Ive been single for nearly 4 yrs now and ive resigned myself to the fact that im never gonna get a bf! i wouldnt mind so much but i nearly 26, which is nearer 30 than 20, which is practically middle aged!!!
I think im pretty nice but many people get the wrong impression of me cos im very shy around people i dont know and because i dont drink people assume im boring...which im not!
I always end up liking guys who already have gfs or who just dont like me so ive given up looking now. I live on my own in my lovely little flat & even though i work every night and havent been out for about 3 mths just to pay for the damn thing, im happier than i have been in a long time. As much as id love a guy to come home to and the affection and someone to cuddle up to at night i have to face facts that its not happening and quite frankly prob never will...so im looking to the future, planning my career after i graduate next yr and getting on with it. Im sure everyones as sick of hearing me moan about my lack of men in my life as much as i am of mentioning it so thats it, no more. If someone comes along they do, if not....well im no worse off than i am now!
Chin up  |
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Precursor 1 year ago
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Mad, shy, hopeless, nicePosts: 15 Member rating: 1
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miniminogue, that sounds exactly like me haha |
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fairy_kerry 1 year ago
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 Caring, Bubbly, Warm & Sleepy!Posts: 2 Member rating: 0
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I would say that the same could be said for females aswell though, it isn't always that the nice guys don't win.. people forget that the nice girls don't win sometimes either! It is unfortunately diffiicult for either sex to be that successful if someone they like has been mistreated before by their sex, it seems both women and men can give us 'nice' people a bad start in things if there are people out there who are going to be horrible in relationships...
I guess you just have to find the chance to meet like minded people and go from there, though it is obviously easier said than done! |
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Alex Harries, UPSU 1 year ago
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 Grumpy, geeky old grey-headPosts: 476 Member rating: 0
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When I grow up, I want to be a nice guy... ;o) |
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miniminogue 1 year ago
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the mad cat lady from The SimpsonsPosts: 140 Member rating: 7
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i guess we'll be waiting a long time then....for u to grow up i mean, im sure ur already a nice guy! |
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Alex Harries, UPSU 1 year ago
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Grumpy, geeky old grey-headPosts: 476 Member rating: 0
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miniminogue wrote:
i guess we'll be waiting a long time then....for u to grow up i mean, im sure ur already a nice guy!
Haha, I don't know whether to be flattered or upset |
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miniminogue 1 year ago
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the mad cat lady from The SimpsonsPosts: 140 Member rating: 7
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ummmm maybe a bit of both? haha |
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livethinme 1 year ago
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Posts: 16 Member rating: 0 |
Haha, but the girls i know like nice guys, but guys with a bit of..erm..badness to them?..i dunno, i guess they get bored with niceness all the time..
But as one dude pointed out..as they get other, theoretically nicer guys always wins cus' they want to settle down.. |
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