Last updated: Tue 31st Oct 2006 at 21:29
Another collection of romantically-challenged folk looking for love. Or at least some action...
- Bored Cheerleading President seeks young hearted pensioner. I will let you throw me up in the air, play with my pompoms, bend me over in a seductive short skirt and ravage me. Must be into BDSM and own your own paddle or have good strong hands. Lack of spanking technique will not be tolerated. Call – 8642 BondageBarbie.
- A lonely Gobby, who is so lonely right now he has to turn to old haunts, seeks nice young delicate flower for comfort and companionship. He likes metal in his stomach and enjoys pushing his brown button for added pleasure. He will twist you, turn you, tie you up and take your virginity away before you can blink. Call 8000 Gobby the love train.
- Female Gobby wants a bit of knobby in her diet. She has not had sex in a year and is starting to forget how to open her legs. She is now a wannabe cheerleader to increase her flexibility and seductive dancing. She requires a man with a 37.1/2 inch stick and good ball control, reverse stick shooting is a must. Call 999- SexMeUp
- Jodie the mess really needs a guy now! He must have a backbone, he must be funny, cock size is not important at this point, she just needs one inside her this very minute. Please put her out of her misery, she is more desperate than a fat kid needing a burger fix. Call 555- JODIE NEEDS SEX!
- Master Graeme is searching for a nice lady into kissballer’s for mutual interest in Steven Gerrard. He likes meeting up for midnight rendezvous in secluded car parks for a spot of the good old dogging! He was once spotted marching for the gay rights in London, but I can assure you he is not a woofter, he just likes the feel of silk against his skin. Call 6000 Dogging-Graeme.
- Muddy Fox can you feel the love tonight as when she takes Tim home she can’t. And now she won’t be taking him home again, apparently. So this lady needs a new bike to ride again and again and again. She is new to brown loving but cannot get enough of it. Her peddling technique is superb and she has the stamina of Lance Armstrong. Call 0259 – I want to ride my bicycle.
- One wake boarder called J-Lo reaaaaaallllly needs to get some before it shrivels up and disappears. 16 months is just not healthy for any person. He's become the master of the power wank and may forget how to tantrum. He is getting too many bonks but not ones he needs to Monkey Spin effectively. Please someone relieve this young man! Call 5000- I Will Pay Handsomely!
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