For the longest time I had suppressed this notion of me being gay so much that I had started to just forget about it. I never thought of women in that sense but I felt as though there was a social order that I had to follow and that I had to be with a woman. I met someone around year nine or ten and it kind of changed that. I was young, very young. I didn’t know what the feelings were but I knew that they were very strong. Personally, I think it was love. For the longest time I was carrying around this burden of being gay while also being in love with this guy who I was friends with and having to maintain this facade of being straight. Right up until year eleven I would go to house parties and get with girls, do all these things with girls, because that’s ‘what everyone else does’. That’s what everyone else does. I didn’t fully accept myself until the end of college. I thought I’d fly under the radar but this guy was always in the back of my mind. It was nagging at me, I knew I needed to start accepting these things because it’s so much more than I was letting on to myself. I carried that around for years. I started to come out early 2015 to some friends and I thought the only way I could really get over him is if I tell him how I feel. So I went to a party and I saw him. We somehow got onto the conversation about me coming out and I ended up telling him how I felt. It was a relief. It didn’t go the way I wanted, it was unrequited, but I could understand that. It was cool. I woke up the next day and thought, ok, let’s move forward. That was the main obstacle in my way and after that I could finally begin to accept myself.